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Man, reading this made me cry.

I remember dropping my middle son off at daycare at 2yrs old and heading to college classes. It broke my heart to leave him in the care of strangers. I cried as I drove away from his daycare, everyday for weeks. Friends and family always told me this is just the way it is...just be tough. Such bullshit. Leaving your child isn’t natural and if it doesn’t bother a woman then idk what kind of mother she is.

Working my way through college with 2 kids, then heading to work after graduation only to realize quality child care is so expensive it takes most of my paycheck so why the hell am I even doing this?!? It doesn’t make sense!!

Eventually I gave up trying to do what society demands of women: to work and raise kids at the same time. I know many women somehow do it, but splitting my focus between work and kids just felt wrong and I sucked at it. I ended up doing a half assed job at work and as a mother/wife bc I was spread too thin.

Now I work from home part time and homeschool my 2 school aged kids. It’s hard but I finally feel like I am a success, if only at being a good mom/wife, but that’s enough for me.

I lost a lot of years following societies rules. But no more. F*** work, my family is more important. Kids will be grown soon and then I can go to work. I am very grateful I have a loving and supportive husband, I know many mothers don’t. I couldn’t be a good mother without his love and support. And I strive to be a good wife to him in return ❤️

Sorry for the long rant lol, but women lacking the support needed to grow families hits close to home. Until women in western countries have some kind of support system that makes having families feasible, birth rates won’t increase.

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author

I'm pinning this because it's both incredibly poignant, and sets the scene *perfectly* for what I'm going to talk about in part 2.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

Glad you found something useful in my rant. Can’t wait to read part 2. I’ll have Kleenex in hand...

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

I really appreciate your story. I had my first son all signed up for daycare at the end of my maternity leave, just like you're supposed to, and then I realised... I just couldn't do that to him. As a child, I hated being away from home, and it was clear he felt similarly. Now I work a few hours from home, four evenings a week, now with two little boys, and husband and I are all set to homeschool too. I just had to surrender to the obvious, be where I'm needed, and where it's meaningful.

But it's super lonely too. None of our friends have done the same, and in fact a few turned rather hostile to us because of our more traditional lifestyle. Also, I am an immigrant without family here and my husband's family was an abusive one he escaped. We decided to think of it as being the acorn of a new family tree, and we will teach and encourage our sons to marry and have kids younger than we did. And I will help with the grand babies!

Working from home is really, really good for families on the whole. I hear people lament the dying cities, but I think such city culture was short and unnatural in the history of humanity. I might be less productive than I once was to my company, but I am now far more loyal, because of this new flexibility that has helped me be a mother first.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

Yay for surrendering to the obvious, I love that!!

I only wish I had done it sooner!

I’m so sorry you feel lonely and I totally get it, such is the road less traveled. I felt very lost and alone when I first started homeschooling. Idk where you are at but my small Texas town has a pretty decent homeschool community and I’d bet your town has one too. Find a local homeschool organization to join. You can find like minded people as well as activities for the kids that way.

Also look for homeschool co-ops. Ours meet weekly and focus on enrichment classes like art, theology and nature study but there are also academic co-ops for core classes. Your local homeschool organization should be able to help you find the co-ops.

Wishing you the best on your homeschool journey, just remember, you are enough!! Your kids are blessed beyond measure to have a loving mother who cares for them❤️

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Every time I hear another story of a mother who has figured out the scam of "career and daycare," it lifts my heart up. Thank you for being such a strong and wise woman, Emiliakirstina. You and CR are doing such amazing work in this world!

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Dec 9, 2023·edited Dec 10, 2023Liked by John Carter

All you mothers, stepping proudly and mindfully into the most important role in the world, are respected far above ANY corporate C-suite female exec - by innumerable men out here.

Aside from the conundrum of population numbers, one underlying message of John's essay (IMHO) was - without women shouldering the burden of growing, delivering and nurturing life, multiple times in their lives - our species comes to an end. I know of no normal, mentally healthy man that dreams of or is eager to be pregnant for 9 months and then delivering a baby. It is why women have always, until recently, held a position of sacred importance in civilizations around the world.

Well done ladies and thank you very much - my mom included!!

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CR, thank you for sharing your story. If there were more moms like you in the world, we would be in a very different place.

It's amazing that the most important job in the world - raising children - somehow isn't defined as "work" in the modern lexicon. No wonder we are in such a mess.

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Thank you for your kind words. It means more than you know to have others confirm that I’m not crazy for thinking that raising my kids myself is where my focus should be.

Honestly, even after all this time, I still find myself questioning my choices. Probably because my choices aren’t what most women choose, so I’m constantly re-thinking everything to make sure I didn’t screw up.

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It's hard not to feel crazy when you are the only sane one in a world full of lunatics.

Of course you question your choices - because you are an intelligent, considerate, empathetic woman. It's also what makes you a great mom.

I expect your confidence will grow. You are totally on the right track.

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Hmmm, a thought just popped in my mind reading this: we need to locate more of our high IQ jobs in liveable small towns. The promise of the Internet should be not for telecommuting, but making the commutes small, or even bikable.

Back when I was in high school in a very rural county, there were busses that took people on hour commutes to a government research lab. I could see setting up a high tech office in my old home town to steal some of those knowledge workers from Uncle Sam and let people live close to their roots.

There are liveable rural communities scattered all over the country in a similar situation. And with today's high speed rural Internet, a company could scatter itself to mutiple such nodes, with each having a conference room similar to Doctor Cocteau in "Demolition Man."

==

As for those aging boomers: let them provide childcare -- for their own grandchildren.

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This has been my solution to most issues we face today, and if it isn't a solution, it's a good first step to finding one. I was hoping the lockdowns, for all their deleterious effects, would set the stage for more decentralized and remote work models, but as the last hangers-on of work-from-home are rapidly corralled back into the pens, I should have known better than to think the corporate ghouls would ever let their serfs escape the urban reservations. It's all about their control and exercising it over us by keeping the middle class hostage and chained to a handful of urban centers across the country. I don't think that will meaningful improvement will ever begin until those shackles are broken.

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Last I heard, they're still struggling to get people to come back to the offices ... Commercial office space is taking a big hit, fueling an urban doom loop.

Regardless, you've identified one of the solutions: WFH.

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There's a lot of conflicting reports on the matter, I've found - I follow a lot of recruiters that talk about the state of the labor market/corporate HR chicanery on YT and they seem to think reports of WFH are overstated, and recently, a lot of people who had it were the first people to get trimmed in certain large layoffs. But that's just one perspective.

I think the urban doom loop is coming for any city over 300k in due time, I think the main reason offices in SF, NYC, Philly, and Chicago is mostly because the center of gravity of the country is shifting south to places like Phoenix, Miami, Atlanta (maybe), Houston, Austin, and Dallas, and if any of those cities are having office space hollow out, it's just migrating further out to the suburbs (or, in Austin's case, since I lived there, just shifting to San Antonio and that city's suburbs). More interesting still is, in my experience being in Seattle and Portland (more than I should) is that WFH is actually much more widely permitted there and when you go out you'll notice and meet a lot of people "officing" in public places than I ever did in Austin or Dallas. I think those cities know they're facing a crisis and the companies know that WFH/Remote Work is the only incentive they can throw these employees to keep them even in the same general area, thinking, "If we can't keep them in Downtown Seattle, we can at least keep them in Western Washington".

Not to wax on about it for too long, I just find the whole "WFH Revolution" so fascinating. It feels like yet another case of the masses and general populace desperately trying to push the pendulum one way while the oligarchical ghouls that hold power in the country refuse to let it move to everyone's detriment, even their own, ultimately.

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No question there's immense reluctance from the managerial class to embrace WFH - Musk's recent remarks, for example. And there's something to be said for offices. When you're surrounded by people working, it helps keep one's mind on track. Not everyone has the self-discipline necessary to stay productive without oversight.

Nevertheless, with the Internet there's basically no reason for 9-5 office jobs for most corporate functions.

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> Not everyone has the self-discipline necessary to stay productive without oversight.

WFH is a mixed bag, I think, especially for someone in my situation: Early 20's, living by myself, far away from family and friends. And I'm not a disciplined person, if my time between posts is any indication (I'm finally working on a new piece though!), so I "log on" at 9 but often don't *really* start working until ~11 when I'm actually fully awake. Maybe I'll write a piece about my WFH experience at some point.

Came back here to re-read this piece before part two! Been looking forward to it!

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Looking forward to the new essay.

Independent work requires quite a bit of self-discipline. Unfortunately, schooling tends to undermine that.

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You're way ahead of me ;)

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We are largely on the same page, so I have limited opportunity to point out where you thought of something I haven't already thought of.

This is one such opportunity. The importance of moving high IQ work to Mayberry is something I had not thought of until reading this article.

So I am only 1.3 orts ahead of you.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

100 percent agree!

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I am doing just that! Love being a Nana 😁💕

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www.henrinkyla.com

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author

What's at the link why should anyone click on it?

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It's a project for a livable small town.

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author

Ok, cool. That is relevant. But you should say this in the original comment - just dropping a link is rude, and also ineffective.

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Really? I would have thought the relevance to his comment should be obvious. As for it being rude - maybe that's a Canadian thing?

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author

Just dropping a link into the comments, absent some sort of explanation as to why it's relevant, is indeed rather rude. Looks like spamming. It's also ineffective, because if you don't tell people what the link is about, they're unlikely to click on it, which defeats the entire purpose of sharing it.

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I am so glad to see someone taking this subject on. As a woman who chose to stay home with her kid I have been shocked at the treatment I received at times and how so many people, including my spouse pressured me to get back to work way too soon. Young kids NEED their moms, not some stranger caregiver.

I had to put my foot down and spell it out why I wanted to be at home doing all the ‘menial’ tasks of running a household because kids need us to be truly present, to be not just physically but emotionally available, especially teens. I can’t begin to tell you the number if times my kid shared something with me that was bothering them or a funny story and she was able to do that because I was truly present.

I have been determined to give my daughter what I did not have and I value relationships way more than money or status. Its just shocking to me how many people are so dismissive of stay at home moms, the media does not help at all either.

Its like the sacred love of the family is being swallowed up by the worship of money.

I have often commented to a close friend that we live in a society more misogynist now than 30 years ago.

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Yes, I've heard similar stories from almost every woman who chose to be a stay at home mother. It's a big factor in suppressing fertility imo.

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founding

A lot of the negativity is envy. Prioritizing the mother/child bond is the very best investment you could make in the future wellbeing of your child. Just being present is great, but being emotionally available and responsive is the gold standard.

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author

Very true. And that envy is now concentrated at the top of the org chart.

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I completely agree with you about being emotionally available, its so important.

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Thank you for your comment Joy. I recall that Dr. Laura (someone obviously with a strong career drive) is adamantly against working Moms, insists that kids need their mothers and not strangers

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I have a couple of her books! She helped me stay strong in the face of scrutiny.

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When is the earliest example of elites promoting the idea that there are too many humans?

Was it the 1990’s and the overpopulation movement in the academy? No. Was it the 1960’s and the feminist movement? No. Was it the eugenics movement in the 1920’s? No. Was it the Malthusians in the early 1800’? No. In fact, it goes all the way back to Ancient Sumer, and before that to the Antediluvian civilization.

Never did I think I would live to see a civilization with all its warts volunteer to commit collective suicide in slow motion.

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Indeed, the Enuma Elish - mankind became too numerous and noisy, so the gods flooded us out.

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Never trust anyone who’s title is “Lord of The Command.”

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deletedJan 5
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The entire earth population, with 225sq ft per person, could fit within the state of texas.

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deletedJan 5
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Nah, a statement of stunning perspective. While there is no doubt that industrial processes have outrun natural disasters and wars, and oroduced a bumper crop, and these processes have soured many places on the earth, i think we need more geniiuses to design our way out of the scenario. Id say the biggest problem is addressing it are vested interests eho keep solutions hidden.

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deletedMay 17, 2023Liked by John Carter
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Back then, with life expectancy at 35, that number makes sense. For the European Jews after the war, in Brooklyn, they were shooting for eight.

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deletedMay 17, 2023Liked by John Carter
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and many infants died.

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They still do. We have very poor healthcare in the USA.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

I was born in 1960. White collar, educated, when I was young I had 5 seperate women fall pregnant to me whilst in relationship with me. All also white & educated, professionals. So they all aborted, weren't ready, financial, it wasn't the "right time". I begged, the last one... So last century. So I never had a kid...live. We still don't call it murder but I feel like a serial killer now. A rich, lonely serial killer. 😶

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author

What a heartbreakingly tragic tale that is.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

I am certainly not proud of it. It is what it was. A million years evolution and survival of my genes so I could throw away that legacy. Aware, I am.

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May 21, 2023Liked by John Carter

I’m so sorry for your losses. I have sons and I worry because they too will be at the mercy of the women they impregnate to do the right thing and have the baby.

The lack of control over something so important is...heartbreaking. I pray everyday for the mothers of their children to be good women because that’s all I can do, really.

And beat into their head that they must choose carefully because the lives of their children are at stake. I do that too I guess, then pray they listen.

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May 21, 2023Liked by John Carter

Yes, well I DO bear some responsibility... 🤗 but I was NOT part of the Equation.

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Keynes said, "In the long run, we're all dead." I always thought he was speaking figuratively about the futility of long-term planning, but I guess he was referring to the ruling class's actual long term plan: in the long run, they plan for us all to be dead.

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Keynes was gay.

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The man, or his economic policies?

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Both.

I mention it not just to be cute, but to highlight the likely origin of his nihilism. Gay men leave no genetic legacy, and therefore have no investment in the future.

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Indeed. And that fact explains much about why today's rainbow-flag-waving elite are so willing to sell off or mortgage all the potentially productive assets (and then pocket all the short-term profits obtained thereby) that would be required for the West to have a future.

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author

Yep. Although to be fair that's just boomers in general. Even if they have kids they are spiritually gay.

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founding

The Boomers are arranging the socio-economic equivalent of a Viking funeral for themselves: with menials (us) getting sacrificed so as to accompany them to the next world.

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author

And the longship getting burned with their bodies.

(And yes I know boat burnings weren't really a thing).

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founding

Keynes gets a lot of stick from North American conservatives and now routinely attracts vitriolic condemnation from economists whose careers depend upon toeing the party line. For what it is worth, Keynes was not a nihilist. He was concerned with salvaging whatever could be saved from the catastrophe of WW1. He simply concluded (correctly) that the old order was dead but that the educated bourgeoisie (to which he belonged) would be able to guide the world and preserve something of the old socio-cultural heritage. In most respects Keynes was pretty conventional and a sincere British patriot. He was prescient about the inanity of Versailles. He got plenty wrong, so did his rivals and the best of them got on very well with him.

As for genetic legacy, gay men marry all the time....cannot begin to count the number of 'conservative' politicians in that boat.

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He always gave me a queer feeling. Especially when he contradicted Adam Smith.

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I'm only at the Tokyo part. Remember the anarchy following the 2011 disaster that hit Japan? Me neither.

I often ask certain activist to explain this. They get mad.

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Exactly. Compare to Port-au-Prince.

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John Carter, you are a river to your people. So, that said, a few observations from me.

First of all, are you familiar with the books of John Michael Greer? He's an American (and a Druid, which may or may not have any bearing on his views, I don't know) and he's Mr. Peak Oil. He claims that the Western world is in the throes of something he calls 'catabolic collapse' which he describes as a sort of staggered, slow-motion decline over a period of years characterised by a long series of discrete 'mini-collapses' until the civilisation pretty much disappears. According to him, this is what happened to Rome.

According to Greer catabolic collapse is what happens when the cost of maintaining a civilisation outstrips the wealth it produces. There follows, then, an inevitable shedding of some of the most expensive parts so that the civilisation can continue to operate, albeit at a lower level. Then it happens again and again and again until once-mighty Rome becomes a sheep pasture.

The reason I raise this is because, again according to Greer, one of the hallmarks of a catabolic collapse is a sustained decline in fertility due to the fact that people simply cannot afford the cost of children.

Second point: many historians have observed that nations or societies under critical stress often manifest autophagia in response. In past eras this has led to maniacal bouts of human sacrifice. Maybe our modern version of this is transgenderism and, given that it is most common among white boys, that would make a certain degree of sense. After all, it is white boys who have now been relegated to the bottom of the social pyramid with nothing to look forward to in the "brown and female" future.

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author

Yep, I'm familiar with Greer, and have quite a bit of respect for his work.

His description of catabolic collapse is fairly convincing, but I think the jury is out on whether that actually describes our current situation. The key point of contention, imo, is the role played by technology. A civilization with a static technology level - historically, all of them more or less - will be subject to precisely the resource constraints he describes. A civilization with the ability to innovate on sub-generational timescales will not.

Greer would, I think, argue that we haven't discovered anything to replace oil, and he's right about that, so far. Whether that means there *isn't* anything viable is an entirely different question. It's entirely possible that one of the reasons we haven't discovered a successor technology yet is that meaningful innovation has been slowed quite dramatically by the post-WWII bureaucratization of scientific research. Managerialism in general is an anti-innovative influence. To say nothing of the effects of dysgenic breeding practices, which have lowered the mean IQ. Then there's the massive misallocation of resources that has followed the financialization of the economic system under the central banking regime. All of which is to say, the reason we haven't yet cracked fusion, or even household fission reactors, might be sociological rather than physical.

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We do have a replacement for oil if we had the will. If you have electricity, you can make hydrogen. This can be reacted with carbon dioxide to make methanol. This is already being done in Iceland, which has gobs of geothermal energy and needs a means to export it.

As for the electricity, there are several options. Nuclear, for example. But even solar could do the job where you have lots of empty desert to play with.

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author

Right now fission is the best technology overall for generating electricity. Portable, on-demand energy is a different story.

What's the EROEI for the methanol process you describe?

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Based on what I've read Googling around, the process of making the methanol is about 50% efficient.

You can burn methanol more efficiently than gasoline since you can use a higher compression engine. But even if you get up to 40% efficiency, that's 20% mechanical from your original electricity. So yes, when feasible you want to use your electricity directly.

But there are some nice upsides:

* A methanol spill is much less bad than a gasoline spill. Bacteria will eat it in short order.

* You can put out a methanol fire with water.

* It's less explosive. I'd much rather have a methanol tank than a gasoline tank in an attached garage.

* I am uncertain, but I suspect you can get a clean burn with less add-ons. We burn methanol indoors all the time. That's the fuel in Sterno.

* The hydrogen generation phase should be doable with intermittent electricity sources. Indeed, if one does mix wind or solar into the grid, you need an on demand load to eat the surplus, else you end up balancing the load with intermittent generators. B.F. Randall has some great rants against that on his Substack.

* You don't want 100% efficiency to drive a car in a cold climate. The waste heat is useful. So the overall efficiency is better than 20% in winter.

* Storage is trivial. Keep moisture away and you are good to go.

* Lots of primitive alcohol burning engines is a good thing to have in case of robot apocalypse.

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author

I've heard it's hard on engines due to the high burning temperature.

Also, for sure you need some kind of relatively cheap primary energy source - hydroelectric, nuclear, geothermal - to manufacture it and get more energy out than is put in.

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Yes, you definitely need the cheap electricity source.

On a marginal basis, surges of alternative energy are extremely cheap. Pretty much free. When the wind blows too hard at the wind farm or people aren't using all the current solar capacity, the extra electricity has to go somewhere or it fries the grid.

Indeed, even if went all nuclear for the grid, we still need either peaking plants or places to dump the extra energy if we set our baseline high enough to handle consumption peaks.

There's an area in Wyoming where the winds blow 50 miles per hour every afternoon. The problem is transporting that energy to where the people are.

Likewise, much of our best solar collecting areas are in underpopulated places like Nevada. The American Northeast has hydro (including imports from Quebec), but is terrible for solar.

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May 18, 2023Liked by John Carter

Au contraire, transgenderism is nowadays more common among white girls, serious social contagion going on there.

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LOL Thailand is not comprised entirely of ladyboys I am not one and my husband does not want to be one either, but it is the most gay friendly country in Asia and has been a hotbed for especially male to female transition surgery for decades, before that was even a thing. I've known two (one American, one Thai) who underwent it they were late 20's early 30's at the time. I have no opinion on their choice there as they were certainly of an age in which such body modification was, well, up to them. Pushing it on children is sheer lunacy though IMHO.

This was an excellent essay and I will be sharing it shortly. Something I can say as a mother is that motherhood is not widely respected and that the higher you climb the socioeconomic ladder the less it is. This is especially true in Western countries as in Thailand there is much more deference and respect of mothers (and the elderly also). There was a breaking of a centuries old social contract that happened I think starting with the sexuaal revolution: from a proto Christian monogamous viewpoint it goes like this: for a man, marriage is the sacrifice. He is taking his availability off the market and pouring his resources into his wife and family. For the woman, meanwhile, childbirth is the sacrifice. She risks her body and even her life, may never quite look the same afterwards and has now substantially lowered her value to any other future prospects. The contract got broke both ways...

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author

The crack about Thailand was a joke lol.

Motherhood needs to considered the most high status of roles available to women, rather than the lowest. Your other remarks remind me of the Greek saying - childbirth is to women as war is to men

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deletedMay 17, 2023Liked by John Carter
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A man's autonomy is very obviously being sacrificed. In exchange he gets certainty. Or is supposed to. Now he has no legal guarantees, but only massively increased risk. Therefore marriage is much less attractive.

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Even a poor man, before no-fault-divorce, was assured that marriage was an iron clad contract, and that he would be the final authority in his home. Now marriage is not, and he is not. The contract no longer being worth the risk, men demur.

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Yeah. Too scary.

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I suppose my reason for saying it is proto Christian is that the dynamics in societies which traditionally were polygamous, i.e. that a man can have as many wives as he can support, tend to be different. I do agree that the consumeristic din of DINK (duel income no children) or singles living seems unfulfilling after a time for both parties. I'm sure that there are many many reasons for the drops I'm just adding my perspective...

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I see a different sort of Brave New World forming globally with humans born of humans unmolested by technology few and far apart. Unlike Huxley's dystopia the odds are the ruling caste only is human. I expect by 2050 this Huxley clone world (if ABC warfare in earnest does not arise) will be capable of creation even with few humans living.

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author

Yep, I'll be addressing that in part 2 ;)

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May 17, 2023·edited May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

You left out how Big pHarma is messing people up with drugs and vaccines. I'm not just referring to "gender reassignments." Lots of women are on SSRIs and urge others "not to be ashamed" to take this damaging, addictive crap that messes people up in so many ways, rendering them unfit to have families. It's no longer considered a shameful thing to be bipolar or depressed. Youngsters brag about it on Tiktok. Gives them an excuse to behave badly I guess.

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author

I mentioned the mRNA shots, which seem to have had a notable effect on fertility. SSRIs are fairly recent, just the last 20 or 30 years - fertility crashed about 50 years ago by contrast.

That said you've got a point. Women with ruined minds make poor mothers.

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You may say the scarring caused by various venereal diseases is probably not significant, but this tells me you have never been to, say, Allendale, SC. As a matter of fact, just about all the low country towns in SC, as well as those in GA and I presume the rest of the south have this problem.

Thirty eight years of pharmacy, and hundreds of thousands (millions?) of prescriptions of communicable disease antibiotics has got to have some effect. Besides the abortions.

And the thought that you shouldn't take them with alcohol, which is true for metronidazole (chlamydia), didn't help. This led to compliance all over the board, frequently resulting in a situation where the affected guy or girl said I still have these at home!

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author

You may have a point, there. And no, I've never been to SC.

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I stayed home ALWAYS as we raised 7 kids in our house, but I did make some income from home as a writer and editor. Now as the youngest is 20, I am still home (will never work outside), but have ramped up my work. We sacrificed, yes, but it was so very worth it.

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This is the way.

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Yes John and nothing, absolutely nothing I have ever done or ever will do comes close to raising my own kids and serving my amazing husband. Nothing.

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author

The world would be a better, happier place if more people thought like you do.

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Thank you from my heart, John. It’s all glory to God. I am fortunate to also have a husband who understands the importance of this on a profound level.

You, John, are like a voice crying out in the wilderness. Many may be deaf to you at this point, but keep running the race. You WILL get through to those who want to hear.

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May 17, 2023Liked by John Carter

Hi John, another amazing article, and thank you so much for saying you love mothers. That's so nice to hear it made me cry. There may be more mother's if more people shared the sentiment.

Which is one of the main reasons, I think, for the "fertility" decline. The value system has changed so much. Call it culture, tradition, conservativism or religion - just values: women who want kids are sneered upon, and deemed somehow lesser. Men avoid them like plague.

Being a mother is at the bottom of the success ladder. Education, career, money, fame... Say your wife is stay at home mom with three kids and your colleagues will burst out laughing.

I'm juggling high responsibility job and two little ones, and as soon as my home loan is paid for, I'm quitting and consulting from home, people's opinions be damned.

For those real men out there, who love mothers, thank you and I love you back ♥️

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author

It isn't only men who run the other way screaming, although that's certainly a thing. Most women I know who have had kids, and particularly those who elected to be full-time mothers while they were young, reported being dropped like hot potatoes by the other women in their social circle. Women as well as men have been socialized to regard motherhood as low status.

You're absolutely correct that reversing that perception is essential to turning the fertility situation around ... stay tuned for the follow-up essay ;)

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When you live in the outside world, you can observe over time that various populations rise & fall in waves. Eg, some years the battle against mice is overwhelming, the supply endless. Other years, they seem to have vanished. Same with black flies, mosquitos, ticks, a pasture of weeds versus grass & clover, and so on.

The tide comes in, the tide recedes.

There is no one species that gets to dominate forever.

Nature bats last.

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Im excited to see what you have to say in part 2 because I truly feel like the devaluing of the mother role in general has been a big part of why women aren't choosing to walk the path. Plus so many people think of humans as a stain on the planet, like we destroy everything. The environmental movement, as well as many activist movements these days, are basically anti-human.

We live in a society in the west where women want to celebrate themselves as dog moms on Mother's Day as if that is even close to the level of sacrifice it takes to be a true Mother. And it's the knowing of sacrifice that keeps a lot of people away from having kids. As a culture we are so hyper focused on our own individual lives we dont understand the immense value in parenting.

I hope to be someone who helps rewrite that story and helps people see the joy in having kids. It's a ton of work and sometimes makes a person question their sanity, but children are such a gift and should be seen as the most valuable part of humanity.

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That's all very true, but I suspect much of what drives such sentiments is cope - with no chance of having kids, and living in a world that *feels* anti-human, people gravitate to anti-natalism. Rather than, anti-humanism driving anti-natalism.

I suspect this because fertility has dropped everywhere, not only in the West, but ideological anti-humanism is largely a Western phenomenon.

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